He's a blue-collar working man... His favorite sports are bowling and slot-car racing... He lives in a duplex... He goes to church on Sunday... He believes in flying saucers... He's addicted to Dristan nasal decongestant... He still has his Christmas lights up in March... He will never own a yacht... He has two teenage daughters from his first marriage that are just hitting puberty... His best-fitting suit came from JC Penney's... He has a textbook case of male-pattern baldness, a truss, fallen arches, a touch of prostate problems, "...and a shovel that will kill!!"

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